The last time I posted about Nick (my best friend & late husband who passed away from cancer at 27 years old), I had someone tell me I need to move on and stop talking about him. “It’s been 8 years…” A couple of days later I had a comment that said I “move on too quickly.” Strange, huh? How hard it can be to please other people. Good thing I don’t post for anyone, except for an audience of One. ;)
Just a reminder - you are never going to make everybody happy. And, you don’t have to live your life according to other people’s opinions of what they *think* they would do differently. Grief doesn’t follow a tidy timeline, as much as we might try to force it to. Grief (in my experience) is a lifelong journey, full of ups and downs and unexpected twists - even with Jesus. Because…
- we live in a broken world
- we weren’t built for loss
Watching Nick & I’s sweet girl, Austyn, grow up is nothing short of incredible. I cannot believe she is almost 9 (two days)! But with every year that passes, she understands more (or should I say less) of her loss. She asks more questions. The kind of “why” questions I don’t think we will ever be able to answer this side of Heaven. Why did her daddy die before he was even able to see one of her birthdays? Why did he have to get sick?
I don’t know these answers, but I can do my best to answer her in the best way I know how. And, even though new lives and beautiful blessings do NOT explain away the hurt. It does bring me some peace to remind her of the ways God has brought good even through the bad.
That He used loss to bring me closer to Him… that He’s on His way to fully healing us all, but has already fully healed her daddy… that He brought our sweet sweet second chapter into our lives (Austyn’s adoptive daddy) and Jay & I’s marriage has produced 3 additional babies to love.
Austyn and I’s little broken, but beautiful family has grown over time, despite grief, and by the GRACE OF GOD.
Don’t ask me to explain how He worked this all out. Don’t ask me to explain why. Don’t ask me to claim it’s perfect here & now (it’s not, but I know it will ALL be redeemed & made new one day).
One question you can ask, that I can actually answer, is this - How have I made it this far? How am I still bursting with hope & faith? Even with questions… Even with new losses. Even with a story that doesn’t tie up every loose end or end when the story was at its best.
My answer… (whether or not you like it) is by Faith alone.
I have had so many days where I thought the darkness was insurmountable. I talk about those days to remind you - no matter how dark your world gets - HOPE is never lost.
You may have noticed (or you may not if you’re like me and have been steering clear a lot of the interwebs lately;)
I’m still posting on social media… but, not as often as I used to. Part of that is because as our family has grown, so have my responsibilities. But the other part of it is that I’ve felt my heart shifting from sharing the sacred & vulnerable on a platform that sometimes makes words feel cheap.
I posted this to Instagram & Facebook but I know many who have signed up for updates in the past often miss my posts - because, let’s face it, the social media algorithms these days don’t lend themselves well to those of us who’ve always grown organically.
As such, I’ve decided I’ll be sharing more here. AND, there’s even an app for that!
You can now read Almost Home with Alyssa Galios in the new Substack app for iPhone - and, it’s a gorgeous platform!
With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, pushed down by the “powers that be,” or stuck in spam. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.
The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.